A Hard Beginning Maketh a Good Ending

I've decided to take up a small space in a little corner of the world. Which seems unusual to me  as I've lost so many things this year, I've found myself purging more than hoarding. Mostly I've been eradicating the unnecessary; things of excess - sweaters, shoes, and some things that are a bit painful like pictures, and, well, pictures. But starting this, creating something, is a bit out of sync with the rest of my 2011.
                                                         

 emotional search and destroy

In the midst of all the healing, a very wise and well paid man once told me, "You are going to see some beautiful things, and some terrible things, but you haven't experienced either yet." (If his career in medicine doesn't pan out successfully he would make a brilliant shaman.) I've let that sink in ever since. When he first said those words I felt as though I was sixteen again, sitting on the edge of the same paper-lined observation chair in my knit school skirt, completely naive and immature to the inner-workings of the world. Haven't I experienced beauty? Haven't I seen terrible things?

AND Mickey Mouse Band Aids?!

After all I was sitting in that chair for a very good reason, to seek  prescription solace from said terrible things. How was it that he didn't seem to be counting this experience as part of his prediction? After much deliberation I believe I now know why. In many ways, crisis returns you to the present to illuminate how real fulfillment can only happen when you remain open to the experience. Perhaps I've seen beautiful things, perhaps I've seen terrible things. But I haven't seen them through eyes fully opened.

Abre los ojos